I’ve never really liked Wednesdays. Does anybody? They’re right in the middle of the week, exactly the same distance from the end as from the beginning. Boring—and also, in a mild way, depressing.
A Wednesday is a great day to make cookies and put off all other responsibilities. It’s also the kind of day that my husband and I might look at each other and say, “Meatheads?” It’s our favorite local burger-fries-and-shakes place. Everything is amazing there.
Except I can’t do any of those things.
Last night as I was flipping through some dessert cookbooks, I recognized once again that I often make not eating sweets harder on myself. I spend a lot of time hunting for the next best dessert recipe, in part because I love baking, but mostly because I, you know, love sugar.
I’ll have to be careful either about keeping my “flipping” to a minimum or about learning to be content with a beautiful picture 99% of the time. It’s a dangerous pastime on a Wednesday—a day that is, I think, summed up well in Snoopy’s ever-useful “blah“—and when the barrier of this fast is gone, I don’t want to fall prey to the temptation of instant gratification.
Yes, after more than two weeks, it’s still difficult. I don’t want sugar quite as much, but that not quite as much is still an awful lot.
Strangely enough, my biggest fear coming out of this isn’t that I’ll still love sugar. I’ve been able to resist it, and I’ll continue to resist it. I have confidence about that. No, my biggest fear is that I won’t like it anymore.
Maybe that seems odd to you. What better way to rid yourself of an “evil” than not to have the desire for it at all? As much as that’s true, I’m not sure that would be helpful in terms of other areas of my life in which I need growth. I don’t think I want to banish my desire for it—or my desire for anything that is not intrinsically wicked—so much as control and reign in that desire, making sure that it doesn’t master me.
The finite is not worth enough, not worth nearly enough, to have overmastering importance over anybody.
And what’s more finite than a single sugar crystal?